100 truths

1. Last drink: Mother dairy’s lassi
2. Last phone call : called chhavi and received karan’s
3. Last text message: msgd kunal, marks in mock
4. Last song you listened to: Rehna hai tere dil mae..
5. Last time you cried: It was recent, about a fortnight back

Have you ever?...

6. Dated someone twice: no
7.Been cheated on?: I don’t think so
8. Kissed someone & regretted it?: no
9. Lost someone special?: lost some.. but am glad a few of whom I lost, I got back
10. Been depressed?: yup
11. Been drunk and threw up?: naah.. capacity k hisaab se! :O

Four Favourite Colors...

12. Dark blue

13.Navy blue
14. Black

15. Red
..

Firsts....

16. Made new friends: I love to
17. Fallen out of love: I did.
18.Laughed until you cried: rarely
19. Met someone who changed you: yup.

20. Found out who your true friends were: yes. n also found who were not.
21. Found out someone was talking about you: yup. It feels great :P

Have You...

22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: no
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: all of them
24. How many kids do you want to have: as many. Would love majority of them to b girls. :) 25. Do you have any pets: no
26. Do you want to change your name: I don’t. Papa wants it to be LALIT NARAYAN SARASWAT
27. What did you do for your last birthday: I have a blog entry for that day. Nothing much.
28.What time did you wake up today: 0545
29. What were you doing at midnight last night: Trying to sleep, under sky, ossum weather yesterday
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for: I don’t know. Really.
31. Last time you saw your father: 4 hrs back. When he left for office.
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Why am I so carefree.. n why do I realize importance later. 33. Most visited web page: google.com

What's Your...

34. Name: lalit
35. Nicknames: gabdu, chooja(only mummy calls me by this name.ok.), laali, laali sir, lalle, gb
36. Zodiac sign: aquarius
37. Male or female or transgender: male obv.!
38. Elementary: B.N. School (B.N. is for Badri Nath. right!)
39. School: DAV, Sec.-49.miss it a lot. Jyotsna mam, aparna mam.. TR Sharma sir
40. Colleges: YMCA
41.Hair color: Black
42. Long or short: short
43. Height: 5’7”
44. Do you have a crush on someone? Not now, exactly
45. Ever been in love?: yup
46. Piercings?: will get ears pierced one day! 47. Tattoos?: nopes
48. Righty or lefty: righty
49. First surgery: left toe, had an ingrowing nail
50. First piercing: yet to get
51. First best friend: Preeti ;)
52. First sport you loved: Cricket
53. First pet: was a female pup.. ‘mini’, she died soon.. I got another one.. named her ‘bhoori’, I was 4 or 5 then, had to abandon her soon, too.(Papa ko pasand nahi)
54. First vacation: Haridwar
55. First concert: JAL.. in Gargi
56. First crush: My 1^st best frnd. It ws in UKG.. I used to talk endlessly about her.. everwhere. I also remember both of us sitting in class.. discussing story of a movie which had song.. “kabootar ja ja ja….” (hehehhe). Met her after 13 yrs.. n we both recognized each other. Quite easily.


Right Now...

57. Eating: Will have lunch, once I get through this.
58. Drinking: nothing
59. I'm about to: change song. Its oxygen, repeating 10^th time… perhaps.
60. Listening to: Changed to Walk on by.. Bryan Adams again.
61. Waiting for: nothing

Your Future...

62. Want kids?: yess
63. Want to get married?: asap :P [Mummy meri shaadi karwa do… jaldi]
64. Careers in mind?: Big firm. Decent job. Investment banking.

Which is better with the opposite sex...??

65. Lips or eyes: both
66. Hugs or kisses: kisses, with a few; rest hugs
67. Shorter or taller: taller
68. Older or Younger: older :P
69. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous at specific places.. and romantic at specific times
70. Nice stomach or nice arms: arms
71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
72. Hook-up or relationship: r’shp
73. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant


Have you ever...??

73. Kissed a stranger: naah
74. Lost glasses/contacts: I alwz get them back
75. Sex on first Date: ~~ naah ~~~~~
76. Broken someone's heart: I feel I did.
77. Had your own heart broken: Don’t wish to reply
78. Been arrested: Abhi tak to ye ek tamanna hai
79. Turned someone down: yup. I did.
80. Cried when someone died: yes
81. Liked a friend that is a girl?: haan yar.. that’s obv

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

82. Yourself: yup
83. Miracles: yup
84. God: I don’t know. I really don’t… I love everything like worshipping.. the entire concept of it. But believing… am not in a position to ans tht.
85. Love at first sight: is possible
86. Heaven: everything lies here only. Earth.
87. Santa Claus: naah..
88. Kiss on the first date?: depends
89. Angels: IF a mortal turns into one.. like they do. There are.

90. Devils: (ans as above)



ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

91. Is there one person you want to be with right now?: right now.no.
92. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?: no
93. Wanted to kill someone ever?: never.
94. Among you blog mates, whom would you like to kiss?: none
95. Committed a blunder and regretted later?: yup.. and regrets cost more.
96. Wanted to steal your friend's boyfriend / girlfriend? Nahi yar.. :P



ASSOCIATE WITH SOMETHING YOU WEAR...

97. White: shirt
98. Black: anything. Head to toe.
99. Red: t-shirt.
100. Pink: x

~~~~~~~yippie.. done!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My old home

More often than not Why do i get dis-engaged in things which appear less worthy at a later point of time...? I say this because this way I lose time.. time which could have had a better meaning.

I am more than 8 months new at our new house, and now more am getting used to it the more I miss the older one.. most of all I miss the roof, the view from the there.. lying over a mattress in midst of night and gazing above, that sky and those stars they meant something else...
A gamut of memories come alive ..as and when I step over our new roof.
that big ashoka tree, that wrought iron staircase.. sitting beside that iron boundary grill.. watching that lone yellow street-halogen, those two mobile towers.. and beyond them, far beyond.. those (aravali) hills..
1st floor.. 2 rooms, one accomplished, while other semi open, which housed my bench, dumbells, rods.. I remember how Piush and I used to sweat it out in our 1st yr, trying every bit of us to get in shape.. as time lapsed, 'trying hard' turned into 'trying hardly' and when I left I did'nt even bother to take them along. They are still there. Unattended.


1st yr, ED exam.. deadly one.. kunal aur punu ghar pe.. waah kya padai ki thi.2 baje soye 6 baje uthe.. aur poori raat haste rahe... margin pe pass kara tha us M L Aggarwal ne.. just 40 on 100!




(to be continued..)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, 2 yrs down the line its time to close this one.
Close with a thought on my old home..
In my dreams not a single day since then I have seen our new house.. its always the old home.. rooms, walls, memories, voices... love, anguish, festivals, celebrations.. (25/02/11)

Milestones..

well, it was a nice day today. witnessed some special moments.. moments which bring happiness to someone as he does things which other may like.. or rather, is bound to like.
tws a frnd's bday.. kunal rang in morning n we decided to set out for ggn in afternoon.. surprising her. to our surprise punnu gave us his new bike :P
we decided to take flowers on way..but couldnt find any florist. so there wasnt any gift as such but our presence(only).
now.. a regular journey to ggn takes hardly an hour but today even journey ws special. scores of times it rained and it rained fiercely.. at times we stopped, finding protection under trucks, hiding in bushes.. even punu's bike ws turning up as reluctant as him,everytime we stopped it took minutes of kicking before finally deciding of taking us along!
finally in 2 hr 15 mins we were outside her college.
at last madam ko wish kara... unke roomies dekhe. (1 bandi sahi mae hott thi :P)
fir socha kaun is mausam mae pizza hut k pizza tode.. chalo 23 ki market. paranthe khate hai..
so finally 4 of us.. me, kunal, bday girl & her frnd.. paranthe khaye.. lassi pi.. aur kya badiya background music tha... vallah :x
: 0515.. we decided to trace back
and as we did.. we saw each of them,
26-25- 24-23-22-------------6-5-4--
:)

Last day at college

It seldom occurs that outside happenings make me giddy..am too self contained for that part. But day before yesterday.. after we were done with last semester-major and we all were outside college at our regular addas "shikanji-waala-n-khoka",I was like looking back again n again towards college building.. realising that, yup.. its over now.. no more bunks, no gedi-baazi, no more early morning wake-ups to get there.. no more sittings on college grass.. and no Lizo. About an hour or so.. we sat there, i had little to speak.., was quiet n my heart pounding inside. After we dispersed n i picked my bike from parking lot.. n set out to home, i was like.. want-ing to cry n hug smone

Occult

This was the second poem I wrote, and it actually came up in two parts, 1st was named 'Pieced to Peace', but then someone's comment made me realize that it was highly negative.. another attempt later changed it into following and I named it 'Pieced to peace - Enriched'.
Before putting it up over here I again changed its name and here it is, my occult -

Singing alone I sat there
it was a gloomy corner
fury in mind and
tranquility around,
I gazed at the 6 pm sun.

Yes, the same fat sun
its still the same, it used to be
but not the same
anatomy with me
Tied to the shackles, I try
to free me.

Free me from the past
and possible future
For I am now the same,
as never I intended to be.
The waves are at peak
and I know i am at the apex
trying be a prodigy
I now need to knee.

Knee to the one
who will take me away
Three fathoms into the sea
or in a closet
not known to me...

Dei - Gratia,
The resentment might get dissolved
And me too..
in the salty water.

.
.
.

Cut my arms
Cut my legs
Pluck my eyes
Chisel my ears..
stuff the nose
and remove the tongue
Put me down
Six feet down
Down the ground,
For I feel
I shall be..
Pieced to Peace.

HALF hour down
Half sun down
At a distance I see
Over the golden cloud,
An angel looking at me.
She took me by hand
Out of the mayhem..
As she softly spoke
and I simply stared...

"I'll put you down, as you said
Six feet down, as you wished
Down the ground, because you wanted...
But for the moments you live there,
do me one gesture -
Feel..That you still have the heart you were born with
You still have the soul that Thee imparted
Take your mind back to the genesis
And ferret across the best times u have with"

.
.
.
.

Three hours down I opened my eyes,
it was dark but not for me
Having experienced the occult, it then occurred
"Oh dear God, I have been such a fool...
There is magic in life and there is magical You."

Comments: (as received on orkut)

- Usha mam
Stark..though it begins on a normal note...but deepens to the anguish, the insidious pain, the plea, the grace delivered, and finally to redemption, in life..

that is how it seems to me now... though i may be way off the mark....

a deep one, Lalit, and the Biblical references, if so intended, do add gravity to the entire poem...
well expressed, and written

- Sowmya
very nice lines...superb skill ...enriched it is..but only dat i felt..da poem i donno ..may b i didnt get da concpt.but i felt da chnge of subjcts were stark at some points..lyk as two concpts hv been forced into one ....multiple poems in one thread may b....anyway...its very nice n loved reading it..

- Priya
thanx boss....am glad to see this version

- Maulik
ah lalit..
i missed yaar..
he he..
loved it ....
ur so much matured with your thoughts..
and lovely style u have..
keep going man...
:)

- Gunika
u knw wat
d new added part ws really gud
i lykd it mor

-Pop
Feel, that you still have the heart you were born with
You still have the soul that thee imparted
Take your mind back to the genesis
And ferret across the best times u have with"

A really good one !!

But I really didnt get the last line. One Life and One Me?? It sounds negative to me :)

- Kshitij
i must say u hv come of age buddy
we hv lost our good'ol naughty "lallu" n wat now we hv is a refined version.....
well done boy...keep up da gud wrk!!!!!!!!!

-Aayushi
wow that s an amzing piece of work...read both versions...u ve worked v well an changed it so drastically...frm negative to positive....lovd the lines u ve added on...and yes the phrase, the concept...pieced to peace...is fab!!keep writing!!

Verdict

ITs been known for long
between you and me
and everybody else
Like you said so
and like i never acknowledged.

Some things -
we say and we forget
Some actions -
we do and we forget
Some grudges -
we hold and we loose
but Some feelings -
we keep and we transcend with.

I want to believe, I still...
but like the
image of a mirror
in the mirror
This is no verdict.

Wants & wishes do seldom suffice
The verdict is -
that of the vapours..
Either they fall on earth
or spread hues in sky.

(19-09-08)

Comments: (as received on orkut)
- Aamnah
Wonderful piece. Wise, elegant and so simple

- Ash
Fabulous write

- Philomel
interesting..i have a poem by the same name.

- Maulik
febulos and out of blue theme....
what a write here...
lalit bhai back with a bang bang bang .....

lovely dude..
superb composition

- Kshitij
makes for a good read..

My Varanasi stay.. moments captured

(12-03-09)
Few days back I went to AFSB (Air Force Selection Board) Varanasi for a possible selection.. but because I wear glasses they denied me the initial INS-B & PAB tests and said that I would be judged for the lateral option I had exercised in my form, which was army in my case.. Half my tempo went down that moment. Instead, I had an option.. option to run back home, I could not decide at that time and hence stayed there.

With such a mind set it was absolute that I wont be recommended.. but it was more that even if I get recommendation I wont go to army. Four more days later.. result was out: "Not recommended".

Whatever.. the trip was fine.. I needed one such. I also loved the place.. the simplicity, quietness and the devotion.
Meanwhile I tried capturing the moments.. like I always do. I 'll share a few-

Being extra cautious this time I went a day in advance..
In the evening I set out to see the ganga-aarti.. it was amazing and I loved being there. After the aarti.. the boatman took us for a ferry in middle waters.. 10 of us: a family, an unmarried-couple, I and Boatman; the family chit-chatting, one of their son was at BHU, so even I got a chance to interfere in tech.-talks; couple was sitting beside me, girl first and then her boyfriend... girl lit a small diya and then they both carefully laid it in the Ganges. I just loved the way couple did all that. Boat went a little further.. We all could see the semicircular Varanasi on one side... there i realised that everyone has stopped talking.. all contemplating beauty and quietness of the place.. the only sound was that of water pushed by the boatman... silence stayed for a while, no one daring to talk (as what seemed to me). "I knew that this was one of the best moments lived"

After that when the boatman took us to some ghat and was tracing back.. I called my sister and her, who was back in faridabad, trying to share those moments.

Soon after the ferry ended.. back on ghat, I had a small chat with the couple, the guy had been to AFSB earlier and was now wrkn at SAP Labs, bangalore.. his girlfriend also was working with him. They were on trip to Varanasi because guy had loved the place on his AFSB trip and had thought then that he will revisit the place with his partner. So here they were... I immediately saw future for myself! :P


... to be contd.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

26/02/11

Two years down the line its time to close this one also. Well I wanted to painted all that my mind went through those 4 days. It was bad. Non sense.

Two years hence I am a software engineer at Bombay.. and I guess there are no plans to visit that place in immediate future.

Anomalies..

Its an anomaly

there is too much of me with you

and too less of you with me.

I wont cry

this time i wont

I should have been used to..

To contain and

Dilute

My emotions.

.

.

.

And there is one more anomaly

next time i make a call

and talk to you

I'll forget the lesser part

of you with me and

will build upon the larger part

of me with you...

(07-05-08)

Comments: (as received on orkut)
Rohan
Good one...nice write...good command of language...wish u'd written more.

Scribbler
Brillaint stuff
Short yet stark

good one Bro

keep it rollin;)

Maulik
very well done bro...
magics again n again

Sashu
enjoyed it... neat write lalit

Bharat
Beautiful and articulate!

Was I kid then or am one now.. ?

..thought about writing smthn in this post on 6th (i.e. the date there,rt?), and now am writing today i.e. on 25th (9:56 a.m.) after i picked up an old edition of Times Life (24 aug) accidently an hour before and found this o-zone article worth mentioning. The article is by Vinita Nangia and is titled.."Is respect such a fragile thing?" I'll quote few lines and then take over by myself, for my self.

IT'S a scary thought. But, sometimes just a word, a sentence spoken at the wrong time; a response or lack of it can sound the death knell of a respect that has taken a  lifetime to build. It's happened to all of us at some point. We hang on to the high regard we have for people through many ups and downs, excusing them for almost anything. And then just one un-feeling action or word can bring that high esteem crashing down like a pack of cards..

          Truly the last  straw, and suddenly you find urself dis-illusioned and empty-handed, surprised at the face u saw, the entity that lurked behind the identity you thought u knew so well. Is this the friend you trusted with your deepest secrets and shared ur most spontaneous thoughts with? Is this the lover u gave ur all to? Is this the colleague u mentioned over the years and is what he actually thinks of u? Is this the way................., so at varience with ur self perception?

           Maybe yes. Hurts...........................

Rest of the article, as it what appeared to me justified or in a way asserted the doer's point of view, i'll talk of reciever.. that is what we generally carry along with us, no? WE  dont tend to forget.. some say chill maar, chhod yar.. i hate such remarks. And y do we not tend to forget.. because rather than that we (un-exceptionally - I) don't forget the best times spent with such identities, and it exceptionally hurts when every such moment is recall-ed, the way tws once lived ..and the way one wants it to come back again.

Fool you are.. a voice calls. And the better !  - 

- u, I, We, Some, one - try to keep the broken ends together and make promises, u wont (and u know - rather, u will)

                                                                                          

What stuck me to create this..

hii ppl.. am addressing all those whom I invited and also those who landed here by mistake.. Anyways.. whatever u read here onwards is on ur sole discretion (there is always an option. hehe..)   I just want to create an image for myself to peep into, in future.. I'll vent out whatever I b able to..my thinking, my perception of others.. others perception of me as i perceive, my opinions, over in all.. almost everything possible which matters.. though I'd like to retain the names of all those I fantasize about.. anyways that's fair enough. u can't argue :) All mentioned things will follow in subsequent, the more i will write. Actually few days back I got to read a blog.. the writer seemed to be so happy with his life.. the blog loaded with all his group photos describing each of them in a funnier way. Even I am equally happy with some people around, though more of superficiality - I digress.

To all readers who will comment I have a request, plz don't comment in such a way that it might alter the next commenter's thinking. Other than that I am ur culprit in killing time.. go ahead. type whatever.

Well.. I had been thinking about creating such thing for long.. genuinely whatever (or at least some percent of) we think needs to b preserved, it keeps you intact with ur gut, ur voice and u don't tend to be moved-with, whatever passes by.

I don't mean that it is the best, it just keeps you with you.. 

I relate it with an example.. one usual day, it was around 830 in morning..the time i have hardly manage once or twice in last 3 years to reach college and attend 1st lecture on time (moreover, i have never been on time anywhere in my life yet.. school, tuition, tests -anything, this 'late' thing even cost me dream of my life.. i reached Air-force selection board at Dehradun..2 hrs late, result: I traced back entire journey 2 more hrs later, crying ..that was d day I cried most. nwz that's other thing, lets get back) so.. it was 830 in morning and I was about 4 kms from college, waiting for auto. It was cold and cloudy.. just then this aged man on bicycle took my mind, riding slowly with a kid in front and another behind him. The man seemed 'calm'( now, why I use this calm here will get clear in following lines) and kids too. It must have been their routine.. same things each day. Nothing to bother.. satisfied with life, as it comes. Even I had a similar 'routine', same auto ride and same path but I was never calm.. always in hurry. Cursing these auto-wallahs as if they really have a plan to make me late.. cursing not having a bike.. cursing everything possible which prevented me from achieving what I aim for.. The man with kids passed by and left me with certain thoughts .. these not-so-special thoughts made more prominence with me those days as I had developed a penchant for writing poems and I thought of writing something 'touchy' - Despite the hardships some people are so calm and they take life as it comes their way, also to these some of the people in large.. there are more of those, who would drive big cars and will still not be calm. These extra sensitive .. it appears to me makes big of small things, the strain they face and they portray has no equivalence.. they need to puff cigarettes and to stress out by driving at 120km/hr....

Why not be at peace when at least u don't have to drop kids to the school riding a bicycle? Anyways all of these appeared to be taking too much of me.. (Generally most of the things appear to be taking too much from me.. I try to keep things simple which they never tend to b, with me at least. Even this simply-lalit will appear to be a hell lot of complex to some but remember I told u, u are reading all this on ur own discretion). The thought of writing a poem never materialized (of course, on this thought.. I have written several poems n sm gud ones too!) and in a way it just appeared to mention it here. (Well most of the things I undertake.. never come up. I expect too much of myself and over-commit. Actually I cant really blame this over commitment, at times circumstances also push to abort but they say u should at least have a will which should in the least last! - IT also fades with me)

--------------------------So, the example is over and for those who are still gasping what i meant to say, remember.. I talked of thought preservation. Who knows one day I will also drive a big car with the same un-calm face.